1 Dead Frog and the Power of Your Peer Group

atooheyThis is a guest post from my mate Adam Toohey who is a Personal Trainer in Toronto and a ripping bloke overall (I’m practicing my Aussie words) Take it away Adam…

Hey guys and gals; let me start by offering you an insight –

“Most people’s lives are a direct reflection of the expectations of their peer group”- Tony Robbins

What does that mean?

Before I go there let me ask you a question.

Who is your immediate Peer Group made up of?

Who do you spend most of your time with?

If you were to ask me that question I would tell you my girlfriend Andrea and her family (at least in person) is the peer group I am in most contact with on a daily basis.

It is my guess that for most of you it is the same not including the time you spend with your clients and/or work colleges.

Your real peer group is the people who not only you spend a bunch of your time with, but whose opinion and feelings you care about the most; the people that if you stuff up, or fail to achieve something, or have an argument with that will undoubtedly give you the most grief.

The people that you will travel with, eat with, laugh with and cry with.

These are the people that make up our immediate peer group and they almost always have the greatest influence on us and on almost every aspect of our lives.

We all know Bedros’ story… and if you don’t just picture a guy living out of his car and surviving on Tuna and Diet Coke shakes on a regular basis.

This bloke has done it tough, no doubt about it.

Maybe you are doing it tough right now?

Maybe you have to be up at 3am to catch the night bus part of the way to your camp to then have to walk an additional 40 minutes to get there. With snowstorms around the corner this might be considered doing it tough.

Maybe that’s not you but you are having your fair share of challenges getting your fitness business to the level we have all heard about and seen. We hear the stories each and every day from the best in the business. Yet for some it seems so far off in the distance that it’s incredibly daunting and almost bloody impossible.

eagleNow that may be the case, but let me ask you this; what are Your Expectations for yourself, your life and your business? Are they high enough to soar like an Eagle, or are they just average?

By the way, someone who is switched on will be able to tell just by listening to you talk about these things.

Here’s another question; what are the Expectations of your Peer Group for their lives and business BUT more importantly, what are their expectations of you?

You see, if the expectations you hold for your life and your business FAR EXCEED the expectations of those directly around you, you will have an uphill battle and you will have to bust your ass to make it happen.

How can you tell if those people have lower expectations?

They’ll say things like…

“Hey come on stop working all the time, don’t be so serious” or

“You don’t need to make that call, do it tomorrow” or

“You have been at this Bootcamp thing for 5 months now and it just isn’t happening, maybe it’s time to go get a real job” …

Or perhaps you have encountered your own versions of this from your people.

You see the same thing from clients don’t you? When they put up a whole bunch of reasons (excuses) as to why they are the way they are, or why they have yet to succeed in maintaining a healthy, fit body.

You will also see their friends more often than not are egging them on to go out for drinks, or the pasta bar, or pizza on the weekend or a BIG night on the town… and sometimes they will be really good and avoid all of that. The truth is, eventually it will get to them and bring them back to the same spot they started at.

What is really going on here is their peer group becomes scared of what their friend’s growth and personal development will mean for them. They could get left behind which could mean the loss of a friend and the loss of love. Something we all fear at some level.

The same thing is happening to you IF the people that make up your peer group are constantly trying to bring you back to their level.

Does it mean they don’t love you?

Not at all, it just means that they are scared and unsure (and we all know about Fear and Doubt)

So what can you do?

Well if they are your family chances are you can’t get rid of them. If they are your “friends” then perhaps you can find yourself some new friends to hang with.

The other option is to Lead and Be an Example to all of them. Truly set the standard for what is possible in your life and business and measure what you can do based on what you can do, not what others can do. If you’re always measuring against someone else you will only push yourself so far.

jordanSet the standard so that you are doing more than anyone else could possibly expect. This is what made guys like Michael Jordan THE very best. He wasn’t competing with someone else; he was competing with what his absolute best could be and for that there is no limit.

And did you see how through Jordan’s level of standard and determination and passion he was able to bring his team up to a level they probably never would have played at if not for his leadership and example?

Your Persistence and Determination to make it happen will ultimately bring you the success you desire.

People will criticize you and they will try and bring you down; try to make you quit when they see something as impossible. They may even shout at you to just give up and be done with it. It is your responsibility to yourself NOT to listen to them. In fact, if you try hard enough and stay totally focused on the prize, you may not even hear their cries.

Allow me to share with you a story…

A group of frogs were traveling through the woods, and two of them fell into a deep pit. All the other frogs gathered around the pit. When they saw how deep the pit was, they told the two frogs that they were as good as dead.

kermitdeadThe two frogs ignored the comments and tried to jump up out of the pit with all of their might. The other frogs kept telling them to stop, that they were as good as dead. Finally, one of the frogs took heed to what the other frogs were saying and gave up. He fell down and died.

The other frog continued to jump as hard as he could. Once again, the crowd of frogs yelled at him to stop the pain and just die. He jumped even harder and finally made it out.

When he got out, the other frogs said, “Did you not hear us?” The frog explained to them that he was near deaf. He thought they were encouraging him the entire time.

Adam Toohey is a Certified NLP Practitioner and owner/operator of a Toronto Fit Body Bootcamp