Hope
I don’t typically have bad days.
I’m probably what most people would call “happy go lucky”.
I love my life. I’ve worked super hard to get where I’m at, and I’m thankful for every person in my life - my family, friends, clients, customers, our community, and subscribers of this here blog.
I realize that no one owes me anything, and that I’m the luckiest guy on the planet for finding my calling, my purpose, my passion so early in life. That I get to wake up each morning and teach and work with the good folks in our industry - the industry that I come from.
My good pal Craig Ballantyne once said something that totally described me. He said, right now my life is a 9 out of 10. And for me, that’s so true.
I think 9 out of 10 is the best we’ll ever get… life’s imperfect so I’m realistic enough to never expect ten out of ten.
Like I said, I don’t have many bad days. I’m definitely an optimist, maybe that’s how I was wired or maybe it’s because times we’re very tough when my mom and dad decided to defect from communist Armenia and bring us to America. A family five, with less than $300 in their pocket, living in a one bedroom dumpy apartment but thankful as can be for having the opportunity to come to America and have the chance of becoming and achieving more.
My general philosophy is this, short of death, there really isn’t a circumstance where you or I couldn’t make a come back from. So the way I see it, I can turn chicken shit into chicken salad. And I hope that you realize you can too, after reading this post.
It just so happens that life sometimes gives you more chicken shit than you expected.
This past February and March I had a few bad days. I’ll be the first to admit that I wear my heart on my sleeve - good or bad - that’s just me. And I gotta tell ya I was hurt, angry, disappointed and I really felt that society had gone down the shitter.
Maybe you remember or saw what happened.
First, in a two week period someone went on a hate rampage online and posted fake consumer complaints about me, my products, and services. It was really obvious these were fake since it all took place in the same two week period and the person or persons doing this used the names of my staff and some of my clients as the people posting the complaints. Funny right?
Here are some screen shots from that two week period…
And then there was this one… (check out the “posted by name”: Josh Carter…lol)
And of course, this one…
And this one (either we started delivering REALLY poor service during this two week period, or this is all B.S.)
As you might imagine I was pretty pissed and hurt to see these fake complaints about me and my business. And I wrote this post about it.
Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that we don’t get customer complaints… we do a lot of business and we do make mistakes from time to time, people have fallen through the cracks and while our policy on most of my products is a full 12 month money back guarantee, our procedure is to refund folks who ask for it even if they’re well past the 12 month money back guarantee period.
I just think that this is a fair way of doing business.
Just a couple weeks after these fake complaints surfaced, I woke up one morning to find out that my ENTIRE Facebook pay per click ad campaign had been disapproved.
It’s like you’d have to know someone on the inside of Facebook or something to make something like that happen.
Now keep in mind I’ve been advertising on Facebook for over four years now and I spend multiple six figures each year with them so I was blown away to see a blanket disapproval of ALL my ads. OUCH!
Check this out (inside my Facebook ad account - not a cool thing to wake up to)
It was about that same time when I started getting multiple threatening emails and text messages… not cool. And those emails and text messages where followed up by more hate driven blog posts and facebook slandering.
I was hurt and angry that my reputation was being thrashed online and I had done nothing to deserve it. Truth is I was disappointed in humanity. I had always believed that people were inherently good. But I was now convinced that humanity as a whole sucked.
I chose not to participate in the shit slinging and felt no reason to defend myself on the lies that were being told about me and my businesses. I’d rather let my decade plus history and the hundreds of testimonials on my blog and websites speak for me. So chose to continue to do what I do best which was to deliver value to our community and to teach fitness pros the systems of running a successful personal training or boot camp business.
Never the less I was hurt, disturbed, and disappointed.
So I searched google to prove my case that humanity sucks and that people are NOT inherently good.
And I found the proof.
Since all these lies and attacks on my reputation were driven by hate and a scarcity mind set - I decided to google those two words.
I went to google’s keyword tool and searched the word “HATE”.
Just as I suspected! Over 13,000,000 searches each month for the word HATE.
This is so sad, that each month there are over 13,000,000 (MILLION) searches done for the word “hate”. Kinda makes my stomach sink when I think about it.
Then I searched “scarcity” and I found that it’s searched 165,000 times a month.
This was proof to me that people are messed up and that maybe more people live in a constant state of hate and a scarcity mindset then we think.
I was totally bummed after seeing these search results. And so I let myself have a few bad days back to back. I guess I felt sorry for myself.
Maybe you can relate…
Maybe you’ve had hate, lies, and mis-information spread about you by disgruntled clients, weirdos, or competitors.Maybe someone has tried running your reputation through the mud. You know what? Embrace it, because it most likely means you’re doing something right.
And the fact is the ONLY criticism you should be focused on are those that come from clients.
Now looking back, I realize that I wasted one too many days dwelling about this crap that took place. I’m thankful for all of the support that poured in from clients, friends, and readers of this blog. The facebook posts, emails, text messages meant a lot - THANK YOU =)
And while a few days of feeling sorry for myself seems like a short time. I realize that those are three days that I failed to add value to our community.
For those few days I failed to live my passion.
And that’s the message I want to share with you. Because once I stopped my pitty party and decided to go back to google and search out two more words. (Thanks God for my optimism)
LOVE and ABUNDANCE
And guess what?
While HATE and SCARCITY are searched 13,000,000 and 165,000 time respectively each month.
The word LOVE is searched 185,000,000 times each month. WAY MORE SEARCHES FOR LOVE THAN HATE =)
And the word ABUNDANCE was searched 301,000 times. Almost twice as many searches for abundance than scarcity. Whoop whoop!
And so my take-a-way was this…
- There is hope for society after all…
- People ARE inherently good….
- Humanity is A-Okay!
- Love and Abundance trumps hate and scarcity every time.
- I’ll probably have more bad days in my life. That’s just a given. But I’ll never let it extend into several days.
- I give myself permission to piss and moan and to feel bad for myself for a whole two minutes. But then I have a responsibility to the community I serve and so I’ll always focus on delivering value, driving change, and exceeding expectations in all things fitness business.
- For me, I’m not gonna waste my time with being angry, pissed or hurt with the person or persons who tried to thrash my reputation… I only feel compassion towards them and I’ll continue to serve the community that I’m so passionate about.
- And while there will always be people who hate, lie, and try to damage your reputation - odds are it’s because you’re doing the most good in your community so embrace it and stay the course.
- Don’t take your eyes off your passion to retaliate or shit sling.
Like Forest Gump says: Shit happens. And when it does, you have my permission to piss and moan and to feel bad for yourself for a whole two minutes - then it’s time for you to do what you do best which to deliver amazing fitness and fat loss results.
Comments on Hope »
Great stuff B! Lot’s of BS going around in the fitness marketing community… I respect you not taking part in it!
You deliver value and you’ve inspired me. From the bottom of my heart: thank you Bedros!
Jennie @ 4:27 pm
Not sure if this is a response to a blog post one of the other fitness marketers did a few days ago about “the men”. But if it is I really appreciate that you didn’t respond in the same way he wrote his blog post.
There will always be people who envy you, hate you for your success or are jealous and try to hurt you or your business. But like you said, we shouldn’t waste our time being angry with those people or feel sorry for ourselves.
You can’t change how people think about you and what they will do to you. So live life as best as you can and dedicate your time to help others!
BAD JUST MAKES 80% MORE NOISE THAN GOOD. There is def much more good. Thank you for this philosophic post. Much needed in todays times.
Too funny. My last newsletter was about a crappy day I had. We must have drank from the same fountain! Here’s my take, for what it’s worth. If you put yourself on a pedestal of being in the top experts in your industry, you’re an easy target. I agree with Jennie above. I saw the mudslinging and the attacks. Warranted or not, the best approach is to ignore the competition and do your thang. We cannot control the actions of others, we can only control our response. Not that you need my advice…it appears you’ve gotten your mood sorted out, but just put blinders on and tread forward. Follow your own 95/5 rule. There are 5% of people causing 95% of your grief. Take your hits, ignore them, and move on. If you were on the middle rung of status in our industry, I’d say to fight like hell. But you’re not. You’re among the leaders. Which means you have to operate differently than the middle rung attacking you, wanting to pull you down so they can move up. We don’t need any more people joining us at the top brother, it’s getting pretty crowded up here! Just provide the best you can for the people and clients you care about. The evils of others will eventually come full circle. Karma is a bitch to those who disrespect and a blessing to those who respect. Be of the latter. Rock on
Bedros,
I love and appreciate your honesty. It is clear you wear your heart on your sleeve. It is refreshing.
Keep it up.
And yes the post was something I needed to read. Each moment we can decide how to respond, to decide to be positive and move.
Thanks,
-Troy
The singular of “men” is “man”. You or your BFF could easily be described as the man, so somebody may have had a point. The truth is if it wasn’t for the fitness business course I’d still be selling furniture on the weekends, so it’s probably the most important book I’ve ever read. Thank you so much for writing it, it’s a masterpiece, grammatical errors and all : )
I really needed to read this and also one of Steve’s most recent blog posts. I’m grinding it out with my fit body boot camp and honestly I was starting to lose steam. This post is inspirational and last month I took a leap of faith and joined the fbbc mastermind. Things aren’t exactly bad we’re billing over 6k eft in 9 weeks, but obviously fees and expenses eat up half of that.
Looking forward to getting bitch slapped back on track this weekend, or at least nudged in the right direction…
Hey B - this is a shame especially coming from a number of folk who have publicly said that they owe their success to you & your techniques…Hold Fast brother, the wheel ALWAYS turns…
You were right about the death of Group On as well check this out: Groupon Doomed by Too Much of a Good Thing - Harvard Business Review: http://s.hbr.org/pwhXTi
@Geoff, that was an interesting article. Thanks for sharing it.
Thanks Jesse.
See ya this weekend… Gonna practice my bitch slapping between now and then…lol =)
Great post Bedros. It’s been three years since I’ve left the big box gym and opened up my personal training studio. It all started after I found your blog and bought the business course (the old one I believe) which totally opened up my eyes to the world of fitness business.
Thank you so much for the freedom and business mind set you’ve taught the fitness industry.
David Gomez @ 6:44 pm
Mr. B, I don’t care what anyone says or writes about you, I know from a personal level, that you are a generous, humble and loving person.
Just a few minutes talking to you at your party a few weeks ago, has catapulted my efforts in productivity like never before.
I thank you and am forever grateful for that. God bless, B.
bedros is the bees knees
From the bottom of my heart, B is the best friend, business partner and person I’ve ever met, and the coolest and most giving dude I know too. He’s also the funniest dude I know, I’ve nearly passed out half a dozen times from this guy. Love ya man!
Your BFF
Fred Sassani @ 8:07 pm
For what ever it’s worth Bedros, You have transformed the way I do business. I work 4 hrs a day and make 4 times what I use to make. I now have a life style and not a JOB.
Keep on leading brother…
Have a great week, and I look forward to visiting soon.
Trainer Fred
Austin, TX
Great post Bedros. You’re the bigger man for not mud slinging. I respect you even more for this. The universe seems to work things out in the end anyway; keep taking the high road.
@Fred, that’s awesome dude. Continued success!
B
Man! I bet that person or people who wrote that are unhappy and they never gonna be happy anyway!
My mom used to said: Let them talk either good or bad. They will make your famous! Is better if they talk than don’t.
Forgive them or what they did and keep doing what you are doing with Love & Pasion! Don’t let anybody steal your Joy and Pasion, your happines is first man!
Luis
Houston Texas
08/18/2011
My 2 Sents @ 12:56 am
I really don’t know the drama because I am not there.
But I have to say that you are handling it like a champ.
I respect all the guys at the top because I learn from them all.
And I like that you address the issue with class. I believe that if one is going to address an issue which I would, that this is the way to do it.
With a statement of achknowledgment of what it is and how you are handling it like you just did here on your blog post.
No mud or sh8t slinging. Be bigger than that.
Readers can learn a lot from this.
I myself will save this post as I know it will be inspiration to me and a guide on how to deal with this same issue when it happens to me because the day will come when I am on top and the critics will take aim, but i will not budge and will remain a becon of light and like a rock and mountain….unshakable and imoveable.
bad grammar but ya get the point.
B. I’ve know you for three years now, followed you for close to 8 or 9 years. Your information has helped me grow some balls and take a leap of faith to become a fitness professional.
I feel that it’s sad that “the men” have to bash you on a national basis just to get more publicity towards them. Afterall, not a short time ago, it was publicized that you played an instrumental part in their success over the years.
Now that they are in a comfortable position, due to your help, they feel a need to smear your image.
I guess you get to know your true friends quickly this way huh?
Keep spreading the “Good Karma”
BC
Good 4 u, B! I was just in 25k group and I know you were there as well, what an AMAZING mindset they ALL have, ALL of them had set backs and they all turned them around, Dan Sullivan took us thru some killa shiiizzaaa techniques to make it happen
I brought up a painful time and the peeps in the group essentially showed me how to turn pains into opportunity, pain into profit, etc.
It was awesome…
I also spent a lot of time chatting w/Tim Paulson, he and I, just like every1 else said in 25k, family first…. love your wife and love your kids, give them your all, because family always keeps everything in perspective 4 u
Glad U r kickin ass and doin’ ur thing!!!
Peace!
-z-
It just goes say and it is always true Bedros, you can’t please everyone. Someone is always going to be at something.
Hey Zach attack! The 25k group is solid eh? Good people in it.
Mature dudes who put ego aside and really care about giving back.
Glad you like it!
B;)
@BC, good Karma man… You get back what you put in.
Well said mah man!
B
It’s your actions and accomplishments that define you not what others say. Whether “they” are singing your praises or raining on your parade what matters is the reality of who you truly are.
You keep givin let others waste time takin and see who comes out on top when it really matters.
BTW Where is the money you owe me….JK
You’re a champion
Thanks for another good post man……i drove 600 clicks to my online fit pro mag my first full month…..people are loving fit pro mag….but i think its good that 6oo clicked on the link
first month
Success is like a wedding.
It brings the best and worst out of people.
Rick Kaselj of http://ExercisesForInjuries.com
.
@Rick, good analogy lol !!
Steve Owens @ 5:42 pm
We hate some persons because we do not know them; and will not know them because we hate them. ~Charles Caleb Colton
Hate cages all the good things about you. ~Terri Guillemets
You’re the best B. Think of how many people you have helped that don’t come on the site to thank you as well. Numerous amounts Im sure.
I have my first BC location opening up in OCT of this year where no other bootcamps are around in a heavy government employment area. Your systems are what I am using. Life changing stuff. The power of what you do is awesome.
@Steve, that’s so awesome about your boot camps. And two very good quotes too!
Continued success
B
Bedros you’re a class act. This was one of the most from the heart posts I’ve ever read.
You are an inspiration to all trainers.
Great post B!
I love the positive mind set that you have! This month and last I had the same thing happen to me on yelp so I know how you feel. Just got to focus on the the circle of influence, we have no control over haters, let the haters hate, it only effects them anyway.
Love and abundance rocks!
Jake @ 5:35 am
Your common sense approach to running a successful boot camp has helped hundreds if not thousands of trainers, even those who don’t ultimately become customers, so pay these trolls no mind!
Bedros in my words as an Englishman you are the ‘Dogs Bollocks’ a true compliment for being the f#’;ing business!!Dude keep all the good stuff coming and coming! Please
Carlos @ 1:13 pm
Hey Bedros,
2 years ago I was getting ready to go to wyotech and give up personal training all together. My girlfriend, my 1 year old daughter and I were downgrading to an even smaller apartment and I needed money desperatley to put food on the table and I was tired of struggling. I figured after a 9 month program I’ll at least have a steady paycheck at 12-15 bucks an hour. Something told me to google fitness marketing and then I found you. I have to say that was a major turning point in my life and I was stuck to the computer for days absorbing all the brilliant info that you were generously giving away. You gave me direction and actually changed my mindset completely and helped me paint a picture in my head of this abundent future that I could have for my family. Today, thanks to your blogs, ideas, motivation, and products I have my own personal training studio with 5 trainers under me and every month business is getting better and better. You have no idea how greatful I am that I found you on google that day. On behalf of me and my family I want to thank you from the bottom of our hearts… You are the sh*t And F**k the haters!!!!!!
Bedros,
I can’t tell how you thrilled I was to see this post. Way to take the high road.
After all the success that many of the mudslingers have had - much of it due to mentoring from you and Steve - and after all the respect I had developed for them and their expertise, I was shocked and massively disappointed to see them stoop to such levels. What happened to the “Professional” in Fitness Professional?
Your success and, more importantly, the success of the thousands you’ve helped over the years (myself included) is unassailable. It speaks for itself. Period.
Keep the compass aligned to true North and don’t worry about the headwind.
Jon “Captain” Quinn
David Veras @ 7:11 am
Great post. Looks like a lot of heart was put in it.
Wow Bedros, Looks like some people drank the hateraide. It’s all good. I LOVE what you do here and honestly, just like many have said before, you’ve literally changed my life and the way I do business. THANK YOU!