Becuase You Asked
If you’ve ever sent me a private Facebook message then you know that I don’t reply to the messages I get on there. In fact, for that matter I don’t reply to twitter messages, linked in messages, ect…
Instead you probably got a reply from one of my three assistants Bryn, Franny, or Marilyn. It’s not that I’m too cool for school or something. If I actually replied to all of my emails and messages I’d never get any work done or have time to goof off with my bff Steve Hochman.
I don’t even use the voice mail on my phone. It’s full, I leave it that way and force people to text me. Then I reply if I want to. It’s a great filtration system.
The exception being my mastermind coaching clients who have direct access to me via personal email and phone.
But I happened to be on facebook yesterday and found the message below in my in box from a guy I met when I spoke at Yanik Silver’s Underground Online 6 seminar earlier this year.
I think he asks a good question so I thought I’d answer it here on my blog.
Hey Ali, thanks for being cool about me posting your question up here and answering it…
First off, don’t dump the marketing materials. Those books, CD’s, DVD’s, and membership sites have the information to help to cut the time to success in half.
And the money and frustration you’ll save by modeling the informaiton within those prodcuts is priceless.
Remember the slide that I showed of the Keuilian Inc “The Machine” where I showed everyone how our entire business model works, where the leads come from, how they enter the funnel, how they ascend up the ladder, ect?
Since sharing that at UG6 I’ve had probably a dozen marketers come up to me at other events and have told me how that one diagram and explanation of “The Machine” saved them years of frustration and gave them clarity on how and why their info business should run.
"The Machine"
My point is, DO NOT DUMP THE INFO PRODUCTS. Use them, take massive action and get the results.
Here’s my answer to you, Ali.
For me, when I got married and had kids my sense of responsibility matured… I matured, well kinda… I’m still a jackass, I still do impulsive things like showing up to the house with a pygmy goat under my arm, and if you saw the hijinx that takes place at the HQ you’d wonder how we manage to maintain a 7 figure generating business. But now, the risks are more calculated becuase it’s not just about me anymore.
Having grown up poor and broke I never wanted my kids to experience hand my down clothes. Or clothes that didn’t fit right, or clothes that were so out of style that they were almost back in style. I didn’t want my kids to ever have to go to a day care.
In fact if you know me, then you know for me it’s about two things…
1. My kids will never see the inside of a daycare. They’ll always have mom and dad around and the comfort and security of a home and good life and they’ll never have to worry about where they’re gonna live next or if they’re gonna have to switch schools again. Those are the things I experienced as a kid so those shaped my values and my reasons “why”.
2. I need freedom. I don’t just want it. I NEED it. I want to be able to do what I want, when I want, for as long as I want. I can’t stand people telling me what to do. I refuse to comply. I have a major hate for authority and I’ll NEVER work for the man. And so to me, money = freedom.
For me the cars, homes, toys and all that crap can go away. I like them. But I can do without them. It’s the freedom I want, and to know that my kids will never see the inside of a day care.
And so those two things motivate me to be successful, to be driven like most will never be becuase most people choose to adopt other people’s values rather than figuring out their values or what motivates them.
I believe that if you have a BIG reason why, and can find your calling, your passion, your purpose, and you have unmatched work ethic then you will be successful. Whatever your definition of success is.
You mentioned Yanik, me and Gary Vaynerchuk in your message. I’m not sure about Jeff Walker or Ryan, but me, Gary, and Yanik come from parents who immigrated from another country and if I’m not mistaken they grew up as poor as I did. That shit shapes your perceptive on things and that might be why we put such high value on family.
That said I don’t think you need to drop everything and go and get married. In fact I say you should wait till you know EXACTLY who you are which will tell you who you really want to marry.
There are plenty of people out there who are successful, driven and single. They have a big reason why and have found their passion.
If I grew up rich I’d still be just as successful. My values and reasons “why” might be different. But I’d still have the work ethic I have today and I’d still be just as driven.
I guess what I’m saying is that when you have greater responsibility in life it definitely help you get and stay focused. For me that responsibility came in the form of a family.
Add to that a big reason WHY and find your purpose and you’re unstoppable.
Comments on Becuase You Asked »
Michael Kelly @ 3:39 pm
Thanks For Sharing Bedros
Awesome post. Thanks for sharing. Finding your reason why is huge, love what you do and you never have to work a day
Carolyn Hansen @ 4:15 pm
Hi Bedros
It is interesting that you do not reply to messages but how about customer service emails?
I have sent you 5 emails asking for help with the FitPro magazine and have not had a reply. I am so disappointed with this and find it hard to believe that you are only interested in the sale and not the follow up service.
What do I need to do to get my question answered?
Carolyn Hansen
@Carolyn,
Of course I care about service. I can’t sleep at night if I know there’s one unhappy client, just ask my wife.
I’m not sure who you’re sending the emails to or where they’re getting lost but I can tell you it’s not intentional.
You can always email Marilyn (my assistant) at [email protected] or our support staff at [email protected] or call the office directly at (800) 261-0208.
Thanks
B
Torrey Plunk @ 4:33 pm
This is awesome! Know your why, your calling, your passion, your purpose and work for it, not the man or anyone else. My why, like yours, Bedros, is family and freedom! I could wear an “I’m with Bedros” shirt because I whole heartedly agree!
Oh, and where can I get The Machine diagram?
@Torrey, thanks for the props!
“the machine” diagram won’t make sense unless you watch my presentation from UG6. I know Yanik sold the entire DVD set of the event. See if you can get it.
B
Dear Bedros, Family is the most important reason to live! You are very blessed and I since as well that God is just as important being in your life. You are giving and have deep passion in being driven to help people! I have used several of your methods in the Antelope Valley to build my business but people here are very affected by the ecnomy and super cheap. Wish me luck as I start my business training and music passion over again in Texas. After finding the true love of my life after my Mom passed away taking care of her the last one year and six months I believe that all missing elements being in the formula now I will be successful! God bless!
Bedros,
Great post.
Thanks for the email today. Thanks for emailing me personally on a Sunday. (I know, exiting news.)
Last night I watched your 1:05:59 presentation at Yanik’s Underground seminar. It was great. That poo story at the end had me rolling on the floor laughing.
Talk to you soon.
“The Real” Rick Kaselj of http://ExercisesForInjuries.com
.
Hi Bedros,
Awesome post - as usual. My big “why” is my kids. After 21 yrs of marriage and feeling like a single parent, I’m finally about o be a single parent. Your guidance and material have been a guiding light for me, I can’t thank you enough!
Now in regards to @Carolyn Hanson - she must have the wrong email or something b/c your Cust Svc people have ALWAYS been excellent - again I thank you for being exemplary to so many of us in many ways
@Isabel good on you…
FREEDOM!!
Dale @ 3:44 am
Funny email and great reply.
Andrew Schmarje @ 7:39 am
I don’t want my kids in daycare either. My mother stayed home and raised my brother, sister and me. My dad busted his ass and worked his way up from the bottom to CEO without a college degreee because he wanted to be the one telling people what to do not the one being told what to do and I think he developed the same sense of responsibility being discussed here My parents were always a little hiippiesh so I think i’ve always had that sense of freedom from authority or conformity. As for family I do not have my own but I can say I’m very grateful for my parents making me the person I am today. I’m sure Bedros that your children will feel the same way as they get older.
Okay,
here are the 10 “lessons” that I think I learned from what you’re saying, Bedros… and also from some of the other comments here:
1. First, getting married or getting into a serious commitment in your personal life definitely doesn’t take anything AWAY from your motivation (provided that it’s a healthy relationship with the right person). You’re not making less because “your attention is distracted”. That “distraction” of attention is at least offset by the additional drive that you’ll gain when the business thing is no longer just about you.
2. A family ALONE won’t give you the drive to make more or to think bigger and bigger. That drive must come from an unconditional passion for what you do. As long as you have any doubts about what you’re doing, a family might still help you to keep going out of discipline - but as long as there is any kind of resistance in you to what you’re doing, you’ll sooner or later hit the ceiling and get stuck because of your internal friction.
3. For you, wanting to be free from bosses and alarm clocks was the original driver to get started on the business path. But it probably is not the reason why you’re still continuing to stretch and grow. You could have easily felt financially free once you arrived at, say, and income of $10,000 per month. But you still kept going.
4. Wanting your child to be free of the limitations that you had as a child is also one of your big drivers. At least it was at the beginning, as a “reason why” to get to the level of financial independence and pay for the mortgage. But that, too, is not the thing that keeps you going now - because, now, you could easily stop working, or you could at least stop growing, without your children having to go into day care or having to wear handed-down clothes. (In fact, you might be able to spend even more time with them if you stopped investing time in your business and your clients and became all “family guy”.)
5. You’re also not really driven by wanting more and more stuff like cars etc. - you don’t define yourself by what you have. If you lost it all tomorrow, you wouldn’t think “now I’m a loser”… you’d just be the same cool guy, wouldn’t take it personally and just keep going until you had it all back - and once that would have happend, you’d STILL keep going. Not because you wanted to “arrive” at any “better point in the future”, but because the walking itself is so much fun to you that you can’t stop. If you could do it without making any progress, like on a treadmill, you’d still keep walking, because you’re naturally driven to move from within. What you’re getting back for it is just a nice bonus for you - you enjoy it, but it’s not your driver.
6. The thing that is driving you is the joy of improving other people’s lives. Maybe a bit out of gratitude, because the things you teach are what made a difference in your own life, and you now want to share this freedom with others. But overall it might be simply the same joy that anybody can feel when he is able to help someone else.
7. You only experience this joy because you have found a “tribe” of people who you really care about. You couldn’t do the same thing with just “any other market”. Or you could, but you’d get bored with it and then stop at some point. So it’s critical that you like the people.
7. What might also be critical for you is that the people that you teach actually APPLY your material. Because you wouldn’t experience much joy of helping, if you saw that people bought your stuff without it making any impact on their life situation.
8. If you didn’t have a family, you would still be where you are right now. There might have been more ups and downs, because, when it’s just about you, you might have tried more risky stuff every now and then. But overall, on average, you’d be about in the same place right now.
9. When you say “work ethic”, you don’t mean “dicipline” or “pushing yourself against inner resistance”. When you say “work ethic”, you’re not talking about “feeling obliged to give your best”, but about “ENJOYING to give your best”, about “being in the zone” or “flow”. So you’re not getting your your client’s support emails handled because THEY expect it or are entitled to it, but because YOU want each one of them to be happy. It has nothing to do with them or with any “code of ethics”. You’re doing it because it makes you feel good.
10. You never had any “I have arrived! I’m financially free! Okay, what’s next?”-moment, because you are not actually driven by “making more”. You might originally have started out wanting to make money. But along the way, you found your passion, and that has now replaced any original “just getting that financial freedom thing handled”-motivation. Any person who’s having this “What’s next?” feeling shouldn’t look for “new motivations why she should make more money”… instead, she should use the freedom she has acquired to find something that she’s not 99.5% but 100% passionate about. The “next level” financially will then take care of itself.
Please correct me where I may have gotten the picture wrong.
I think I learned a lot… and my cat is also expressing her gratitude to you Bedros, because she can now rest assured that I will refrain from upgrading her to a goat.
Best,
Ali
Bedros - You and Steve are awesome examples. Thanks for leading the way to financial freedom - and true purpose - for so many others!
Rebecca Tabbert
P.s. I think Marilyn, Alison, Sylvia and all the peeps at HQ are awesome - always there to help when I need it.
@Rebecca, thanks for all the love
@Ali, awesome list dude! And you definitely want to get a goat…lol
Haha… I already looked, but it seems like Amazon.de doesn’t carry them. I already adopted your “power naps” though!
Hey Bedros,
Great post bro! I’m officially adopting you as my mentor, next to Jim Rohn and Zig Ziglar of course!
Your a great center of influence to me. Keep up the great work!
Danny Aguirre
You have to contact Marilyn for FitPro newsletter questions, concerns etc. She can walk you thru the whole thing forwards and backwards and take care of any issues. Bedros cares so much about quality service he hires great people to take care of it. Marilyn really rocks!
And for getting married, having a family etc…..just as many people use that as an excuse….If I only didn’t have my family slowing me down, or my kids taking up all my time, etc, etc. You have to have focus in life and balance in life, if you are so driven to be successful you have no time for love in your life……..how successful are you really? I always remind my kids how rich they are when they start whining about not being able to buy something…..remember if you have 2 pairs of shoes you are rich by the worlds standards.
Great post with a great conclusion Bedros! The added responsibility of a family is definitely a great motivator!