HELP! I’m dealing with haters and don’t know what to do!
Last week in San Diego one of my coaching clients asked
how to deal with people who criticize, bash, and generally
hate on you.
With a room full of 46 fitness pro I didn’t think the topic of
“dealing with haters” was even worth talking about.
The real reason we were all in that meeting room in San
Diego was to learn how to create, market, and sell fitness
info products online…
…to me, it just seemed that this was going to be a waste
of time to talk about haters since it’s mostly a non-issue.
At least that’s what I thought until another member of the
coaching program showed interest on the topic of haterism,
and then another did.
Look, it’s simple…
If you’re in business, and if you’re any good at what you
do, and if you’re successful at all then you WILL have
haters and people who criticize you and your ideas.
So it’s just best to not pay them any attention, and to
keep your focus on your business and the clients and
customers that you serve.
But since this was a relatively new group of fitness business
entrepreneurs, and since they’re starting to see success
now, they’re also starting to get their fair share of haters.
Now there’s usually two types of haters – the first is the
hater who doesn’t know you personally and chooses to
randomly flair up like a bad hemorrhoid from time to time
and bash you, your ideas, and your business.
The “hemorrhoid hater” might do this on Facebook, on
YouTube, via email or blog post.
They’ll flair up from time to time, hate on you and go away.
The second type of hater is more toxic – poisonous really.
The “toxic hater” has all the same characteristics as the
first type of hater (the “hemorrhoid hater”) as well as a
personal connection to you in some way.
In fact, the second person in our meeting who wanted to
know how to deal with haters was dealing with the toxic
type of hater…
…as it turned out, it was a former employee who had stolen
clients, gone on to open his own training business, and was
now bad mouthing my client to people in their circles and all
This clearly pissed my client off and even got into his head
a bit – but we set him and the other guys straight in no time
and I’m going to tell you how you’re going to do the same
for yourself when you get your own gang of haters hatin’
See the “toxic haters” don’t really hate you, your business
or even the ideas you have.
They really hate themselves, what they stand for (or lack
there of) and the fact that you are living the life that they
so badly want, but they’re too lazy, too ignorant, and too
scarcity minded to actually put in the work needed to have.
So they hate on YOU becuase YOU, through your actions,
hold the mirror of truth up to them.
Like Vince DelMonte says, HATERS is an acronym:
Having Anger Towards Everyone Reaching Success
Thanks Shaun Hadsell (who was in that meeting in San
Diego) for sharing Vinny’s profound quote.
Now, I’ve personally dealt with both types of haters…
…and I have no doubt that I’ll deal with them or more like
them in the future – becuase I have no plans of stopping
or slowing down the growth of my business, or the success
that I have been so blessed to achieve in our industry.
Here’s the funny thing about it, most people reading this
probably have no idea that I and Fit Body Boot Camp
were the target of a major hate campaign a year and a
Lies, misinformation, and pure hatred were openly spread
about me and my businesses on blogs, YouTube, in emails,
and on Facebook.
It actually got pretty bad…
Like personal bad.
In addition to all the public lies and hatred, I also got direct
attacks and threats via email, and text messages.
Nothing like using modern technology to be an idiot…lol 🙂
But I wasn’t about to get sucked into the sh!t slinging they
were trying to stir up.
I was lucky enough to have friends, subscribers, customers
and clients who publicly stood up for me and my character.
I spent my time focusing on helping my clients, bettering
my business, and adding value to our industry.
Why would I take my focus and energy off of my business
and the industry that I’m so passionate about serving to
even address donkeys who hate and lie just to get their
5 minutes of attention in the spotlight before they crash and
And this is what I shared with the 46 fitness pros in that
meeting room in San Diego last week who wanted to know
how to deal with haters…
Haters hate themselves more than they could ever hate you.
In the moment in might seem like it’s the end of the world
for you and your business – but it’s never as bad as you
make it out to be in your head.
People can always see the truth – always
And those who don’t see it, or choose to believe the lies
are people who don’t deserve to work with you anyway.
It doesn’t matter if you have “toxic haters” or “hemorrhoid
haters”, you can’t let your emotions get the best of you.
Let me tell you… haters are emotionally retarded (I’m no
doctor, but I believe this to be a medical fact), and it’s
their inability to manage their emotions that causes them
to flair up like they do.
Sure they’ll talk garbage, spread lies, and act tough, but
everyone who’s watching can see that they are the weakest
bunch of them all.
Hater’s are no different than bullies in a school yard.
They hate themselves the most, they lack character, creativity,
imagination, and work ethic…
…they live in a constant state of scarcity, fear, and greed and
everything you stand for is what they lack
…they’re always looking for the shortcuts in life and ways to
get to the top without the hard work – let me tell you, shortcuts
don’t exist – add value, do the work, and you’ll get to the top.
Every moment that you spend thinking about haters is a moment
that you could have been helping the people that you serve.
In fact, the most selfish thing you can do is to waste a moment
of your time or an ounce of energy on haters, becuase you have
a commitment to your clients and customers who need your help.
And YOU my friend are in the business of changing lives and
adding value to the lives of your clients and customers.
No matter how bad you want to say something, defend yourself,
or make your case about the haters, know this…
you’ll only bring more attention to a negative subject and you’ll
add no value to your life, your business, or to the lives of your
My friend and Fit Body Boot Camp owner Rebecca Tabbert
sent me a link to a video clip from Joel Osteen’s website once
which really drove this point home.
Joel told a story about the majestic bald eagle and how it had no
natural enemies other than the mangy and sneaky crow.
See, when a couple of crows spot a bald eagle they chase after
it and start to peck at it while in flight.
The eagle, more majestic and far stronger in every way does what
more people should do when dealing with haters…
…the eagle climbs higher and higher in altitude until the crows
can no longer fly at that level and drop out of the sky becuase
of the thinner air.
YOU are the eagle.
They are the crow.
Fly higher my friend, and don’t waste another moment of your
time or an ounce of your energy on the things that don’t matter.
Committed to your success,